Where's the 'Madness' in March Madness?

Coming in a year where there seems to be a lot less drama than is to be expected from the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament (with the elite 8 being comprised of all 4 #1 seeds, 2 #2s, and 2 #3s), I beg the answer to the question, where is the 'madness' in March Madness? Your boy has the solution.

I don't know how many of you used to watch Nickelodeon GUTS back in the day. But if you didn't you should have, especially since you had years of syndication to catch it. The show provided us with 3 kids around the age of 13 who would dress up in outrageous athletic gear of three feuding colors (Blue, Red, and Purple) and compete against one another in activities that were even more outrageous than their attire and equipment. These kids would paddle across swimming pools while balancing on boogie boards, smash big wheels into Styrofoam stones, and eventually climb a plague filled mountain in hopes of earning a piece of it. What an adventure.

Now imagine UConn's Hasheem Thabeet, UNC's Tyler Hansbrough, and Pittsburgh's Dejuan Blair dressed in blue, red, and purple bike shorts with harnesses strapped to each of them. Imagine a basketball hoop placed in the middle of a room, or rather a tee with a basketball placed on top of it 25 feet in the air. Strap bungee chords to their harnesses, give them a minute and a half and see which one of them can grab the most basketballs off of the tee. Now that's madness. Set up three hoops thirty feet high and see who could slam home the most basketballs. Set up one hoop in the middle and have one team defend it for the first half and switch off for the second half. Best score wins.

Let's use our imaginations, let's use our memories. Let's infuse some true 'madness'. The GUTS way.

Sick of Being Sick... The Pledge

So I've been out of commission for a while, most recently do to illness... I apologize, and I will really try and post more often now.

Writing. To write. I trip over my left shoelace, my arms dangling loosely by my sides. It's the first time I've left my house in 5 treacherous days. I notice a spiraling jet stream of an airplane fading into the distance. Things haven't changed. I notice the distinct smell of cherry Italian ices. You know, not Marino's, not that commercial kind, but the one they scoop into those small, creased, and eventually soggy white paper cups at every local pizza place in Queens. The sounds of different birds are more noticeable to me than the sounds of the traffic. Maybe things have changed. 4 days can seem like an eternity, especially when you're doing nothing, and feel like you're deteriorating. I could have sworn I was going to walk out of my house today and President Obama's first term would be over. Thankfully it wasn't, thankfully I'm still only 22 years old, and thankfully it looks like I'm regaining my health (and soon enough the weight I lost). But time wasted, whether avoidable or not, is nothing less than frustrating, and I might be wasting too much of it. So right here, right now, is my pledge, to myself and to those reading, and I invite you to take part in it as well... for you, so read it with me:

I pledge... from this point on in my life, to step up my game, to take in what may seem simple, but is in actuality more mosaic than my first glance gives it credit for. I pledge to take to take every minute I am given and use it to my full advantage towards my success, my accomplishments, my relationships, and my dreams. I pledge, to strive towards my happiness, because I realize it's out there waiting for me to find it.

Verbal Freedom From the Shackles of Masculinity?

American Idol is one of my favorite TV shows... "no homo." Your my best bud, and I really miss you, dude... "no homo." Those mantyhose actually are quite comfortable... "no homo." Oh, how two simple words have provided the current generation of heterosexual, or supposed heterosexual males the freedoms to act sensitive, which has been labeled as a more feminine emotion through the years.

As straight men we are supposed to chop down trees while chugging beers and checking out that impressive rack with our peripherals. We don't have feelings. Instead, we grunt and watch sports. Our passion only leaks out when our teams prevail or during sex. Wait, so society is changing? Images and standards are evolving? Funny how that all works.

But this isn't a rant on a graceful phrase. No, I use it here and there. I feel it is harmless and do not mean it to be offensive in any manner. I'm quite the liberal person and have no issues with homosexuality. Some people use the phrase as a defense, others as a mere tag line. But I like to look at the issue in a more unorthodox manner. Like I mentioned, society is changing. It's becoming more "acceptable" for straight guys to actually act somewhat emotional. Those that use "no homo" as a defense mechanism are resisters to this change, like Cam'ron, who in the video below feels that simply saying certain things can determine your sexual orientation. In contrast Jadakiss' words "Put it out, let the streets talk no promo, a real man shouldn't have to say no homo," are much more logical. A dude who is comfortable with himself and confident with his sexuality should not have to clarify his statements with the risk that they might make him appear to be homosexual. A man who says "no homo" in seriousness in a attempt to "erase the 'gayness'" of his words or to reaffirm his sexual orientation, may just have some issues that lie a bit deeper.

My final thoughts on the topic: Can you use "no homo" with your friends without being offensive? Sure, when used lightly and the intent behind it is clearly innocent... "JT is a pretty cool dude, he's got style... no homo." Because clearly, straight men can't be complimentary of other men. (rolls eyes) Should it be overused and meant to 'defend' from acting too sensitive because sensitivity is obviously aligned with homosexuality? No. That's just ignorance. In the grand scheme, it's just the continuous flow of urban speech colliding with the positive cultural/social evolution of society.

I'm off to go do some 'homo' things now... "no homo."

Cam'Ron on Hot 97